road through hilly terrain covered with grass and bushes

Change is OK

body of water
Photo by Josh Sorenson on

I’m an observant person. To illustrate, I see a lot of shame that others have for going through different types of identity phases. And I mean things as trivial as punk or gothic or just trying different career moves. I am so sick of witnessing people shaming others for trying to figure out what it is that shapes them to their core.

My plea is this: People, STOP shaming others for going through different identity phases. Why? Because doing so is hypocritical. Listen, throughout the course of our lives, we’re all going to change. Different circumstances are going to change us and shake us to our essence.

These circumstances include recessions, layoffs, loosing loved ones, trauma, and grief. What is you get married? What happens if you get pregnant? What happens if you get divorced, or separated? What happens if you have a miscarriage? Of course, beautiful milestones come out if life, as do negative valleys. The point is, that these types of life events often impact the course or plans for our future. As you see, many of these life moments can have us questioning our own identity, and sense of self-worth.

a broken windshield of a car
Photo by Artyom Kulakov on

Personal story: Over a year ago, I was in a car accident- an incredibly traumatic moment for both me and my husband. His car got rear-ended in the middle of the interstate at night. If there’s anything you should know about me, it’s that driving and being on the road gives me a lot of anxiety. Being in that collision worsened my phobia. While we left without any physical scratches or bruises, the crash left me with a permanent psychological scar. Almost every mobility decision I now make revolves around avoiding long car rides (or taking alternate modes of transit. Needless to say, this trauma forever changed me.

Why is anyone else’s journey into self-exploration your business, especially if they’re not harming anyone? Why not just live and let others be?

Let’s try to be better at being more empathetic. It won’t hurt anyone.



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